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In or Out?
This thought has crossed my mind lately. Do you think it is better to be out of the closet or pretending to be what society in general expects you to be? It’s obvious that mainstream America does not accept us for who we are, so do we continue to live our lives out in the open, or do we back down and just do our best to blend in with society?
I personally have been out of the closet for seventeen years, I have known I was different for a lot longer. I stood up for who I was, decided I wasn’t going to pretend to be something I am not, at least to a certain extent. So, I knocked down my closet door and showed myself to the world, the question is was it a mistake? Did I do the right thing?
The decision cost me, I lost something that was very important to me. I would like to say that I did the right thing, but sometimes I wonder. How would my life be different if I would have left that the proverbial closet door closed? Would I be where I am today? Would fate or destiny have brought me to this place or would I be living a completely different life?
Is either group happy? Can you be truly happy when you lie to yourself, friends, and family about who you are? Some say yes, some say no, but if you can lie about what you are, what makes you think that your happiness is anything but a lie also?
What about those that can not hide in the closet? You know who I am talking about – I am a perfect example. I was always a tomboy, wasn’t your stereotypical girl. Even now, I have short hair, the only clothing item I own that is from the women’s department are my sports bras, and as I have been told more than once, I might as well tattoo the word ‘dyke’ on my forehead. If you put me in a dress, I am going to look like a drag queen, and not a very good one at that!
These people try to pass as straight – I don’t know who they think they are fooling – other than themselves. Everyone already knows or at least suspects, so why are you trying to hide it? Do yourself and your friends a favor, just say the words out loud.
Am I judging these people, no I am not. Ultimately, it is their life and their decision, I am just trying to put a little humor and perspective to it.
The only person who can live your life is you. The choice can only be made by you. Just think about it, are you going to live your life for you, or are you going to live your life for someone else?
The question is are you In or Out?